Casey Wells - Adventures In Missions - Serving those who are called to serve the world.

Zeal vs Doubt

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I wrote this for the http://prayers.theworldrace.org blog. But decided to share it with you as well.

Missionaries and new Christians seem to have something in common... they both struggle with having the zeal and desire to see God do crazy radical things yet still having faith when it doesn't happen. Many of the participants that come on the World Race have just begun to realize that God still does signs, wonders and miracles today. As future Racers read current Racers blogs about how people are receiving their sight and are walking for the first time because God healed them there is an excitement that rises up. Sure there is that question of if it is real or not. But even stronger than the doubt is the desire to see it for themselves!

Wouldn't you love to see God heal someone!?! Wouldn't you love for God to use you to bring healing!?! Wouldn't you love for God to heal you?!

Some people are lucky enough to see God move through signs, wonders and miracles. And the rest of us pray that we continue to have the faith to expect them to happen when we pray.

But there comes that day when your faith wavers. When you begin to doubt not that God does miracles, but that He will use you to do them. After expecting God to heal the hundreds of people that you've prayed for and seeing nothing happen you begin to wonder why. Why are other people seeing God move in amazing ways and you're not?

Pray for our Racers. Pray that they will have abundant faith. That they will hear God's heart beat. That they will know when God is ready to heal physically, or emotionally, or spiritually. Pray that rather than looking at the expectations that haven't been met, they will see the thousands of little miracles that the Lord is doing around them no matter how small they might be. Ask the Lord to show them the lives that have been changed forever because of them. And why not go ahead and ask that God would do some crazy signs, wonders and miracles :-)

Why are you here if you aren't getting paid?

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Last weekend AIM hosted a retreat for a group of leaders from a college here in Georgia. The original plan was to have several of the leadership from the Short Term Program speak. However with everything that happened in Haiti, some of the guys were now in Haiti and not going to be able to speak. My buddy, Corey was now not only putting together their program, but running the whole show.

I had originally only committed a couple of hours to help Corey out with the retreat. I was tired and did not want to give up my weekend. Friday I spent the day up at my desk working and then planned on spending the evening with the group. As we were serving ourselves some dinner Corey and I were chatting about what the plan was for the night's session. It was then that I was asked to speak about the Holy Spirit for those who this was new concept for. Jesse and I quickly realized that we have similar styles of preparing to teach (ask Jesus and then just speak from the heart) as we shared together that night. I also realized at that moment that I would be staying the night at AIM and be there all day Saturday.

On Saturday it was still freezing outside, but we decided to go ahead and do one of our exercises with the group. As we were coming inside I mentioned to one of the girls that I wasn't getting paid for being there... she looked at me with shock and asked, 'then why are you here?'. All I could think to say was, 'because I love Jesus and I love you guys'.

I don't get 'paid' very much for my 'day job' of buying plane tickets, doing interviews, or finding receipts. And I didn't make a dime for the extra hours I put in to help out at the retreat. But those leaders' lives were changed forever! I had the opportunity to invest into people who were hungry for more of the Lord. I also got to watch as my coworkers and people in my community had a chance to shine. It was awesome!!!

Please don't comment with saying how I am storing up treasures in heaven or anything like that. That wasn't the purpose of this blog. The purpose was simply to say that as I put my own desires aside God moved and it was a fruitful weekend that I will never forget :-)

How you can pray for AIM's Haiti efforts

Sun, 7 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Right after the earthquake hit Haiti the atmosphere at AIM changed. It seemed like everyone went immediately into emergency / disaster relief mode. People started focusing on how AIM can help with the relief efforts in Haiti. Job descriptions changed and people instantly came on board to work full time with AIM with the Haiti Relief.

The other day I went through the AIM and World Race blogs to make a single blog on the latest details. We have stories directly from Haiti and the Dominican Republic, what we are currently doing, the things we are hoping to do and lots of people who are getting ready to head out. Please continue to pray for all of our staff as they make big decisions and even head down to help.

Click on the link below to read the latest updates -

http://prayers.theworldrace.org/

God said, it's not good enough.

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

As you might have read in one of my last blogs, while at launch in New Zealand I missed out on the first big night of ministry. The good news is that we have more than one night at launch.

The following night we begin with some great worship. As I am praying and worshiping in front of a huge world map the Lord beings to speak...

It's not good enough.

Being a Christian is not good enough.

Reading your Bible or praying is not good enough.

Being an evangelist and telling people about Christ is not good enough.

Being a missionary is not good enough.

The people of New Zealand, the countries around the world have all of these things.

They have Christians, evangelists and even missionaries. But that's not good enough or they would have seen revivals and come to know Me.

God. If you don't need us. Why did you chose us? Why are we here?

You must bring a new thing. You must listen for the words that I am bringing. You must go where I am moving. Seek Me. I am wanting to do something new. That is how revival will come. That is how lives will be changed. As you bring Kingdom you will see miracles.

Apart from me you can do nothing. Anything besides what I am saying and doing is not good enough.

Prayers and Haiti

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I am currently swimming in receipts and airline quotes...

I wanted to let everyone know that we are sending a World Race Alumni team down to the D.R. to help with things along the border of Haiti. I am heading out of town for a conference and will probably not have time to update everyone here on what is happening in Haiti / D.R. However I am the teams contact person in the States and I am also the one who posts on the WR Prayers blog. So please feel free to check out the Prayers blog as well as on the AIM Haiti site.

Again check out prayers.theworldrace.org to get prayer requests and praise reports of what God is doing on the field with our World Racers.

The Holy Spirit shows up during worship

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I love worship! Singing has always been something that has brought me closer to the Lord. When the presence of God is heavily on a place where people are hungry for Him you can almost guarantee that there will also be people set free and healed. I LOVE that! Being able to pray over other people and speak God's truth over them is one of my favorite things.

All of those things happened the first night, but I missed it. All of it. One of the Racer's backpack didn't make it and the airline could only get it to an airport an hour away. I was informed I had to take the Racer that night while everyone else would be having an awesome time with the Lord.

I had to do something I didn't want to do. I'd been doing a ton of driving and really wanted a day off from being on the road for hours. And I really didn't want to miss the night session.

We were successful in getting the guy's bag, even though the airport was closed. And I did have a good chat with him on our long drive. But by the time we got back the night was over. They talked about how awesome it was and how the Holy Spirit fell. I was bummed I missed an awesome session. That once again my natural gifts were used rather than my spiritual gifts. Yet there was a part of me that was ok with it. The Lord had asked me to surrender once again and I did so with the right attitude.

In New Zealand

Fri, 1 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas & New Years!

Surprise... I am back in New Zealand! I arrived a couple of days early to spend some more time with friends and to be here for when all of the Racers and staff arrive. The last two days have been wonderfully sunny as it's summer here. My friends decided the best thing to do would be to go for a nice walk with beautiful views each day. It really was worth the long walks. And I am so glad I brought my running shoes & a pair of light weight pants to walk / hike in.

This afternoon I am picking up one of our staff members and three of the squad leaders for the teams. I am looking forward to sharing this beautiful country with some of my friends! Then tomorrow morning the masses begin to arrive! The team leaders and another staff come in tomorrow. Followed by the finance people then next day and then everyone else arrives. So glad I was able to hire some buses to pick everyone up. (Plus the owners of the buses are friends from another ministry here, so we are supporting them while they help us out.)

Please be praying for everyone as they travel. Coming into New Zealand can be a bit intimidating as they are very strict on what you can and can't bring into the country. Pray that everyone remembers to declare everything and not get hit with any fines. Pray that they all have favor and do not have any issues coming into New Zealand. Pray for travel mercies for everyone. And that everyone will adjust to the time and climate changes easily. Oh and let's not forget to pray that the Kingdom of Christ will move in and through all of us, that we will be able to enjoy each others company and the beauty of New Zealand and the people here!

I probably will not get a chance to blog again until I am home in Georgia... so look for an update in a couple of weeks.

Dec 15 devotional

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

One of the things that really challenges me and speaks to me is the devotional of works by Smith Wigglesworth. Today's reading was something that really spoke to me so I thought I would share it with you...

'And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing'

- 1 Corinthians 13:3

...

A man came to me, and we had long talks about the Lord. He told me, "I was in a very difficult place. I had been working very hard in the church and had given all my strength..."

Oh, I see such godly, holy people doing more than they ought to, thereby giving themselves away. Don't you know that your body belongs to God (1 Cor 6:19-20), and that, if you overtax your body, God says He will judge you for it? We have to be careful because the body that is given to us is to exhibit His power and His glory, and we cannot do this if we give ourselves all the time to work, work, work and think that that is the only way. It is not the way.

The Scriptures teach us that Jesus had to go renew His spiritual vision and power in solitude with His Father (Mark 1:35), and it was also necessary for the disciples to draw aside and rest awhile (Mark 6:30-31). Couldn't Jesus give them all they needed? My dear brother, whatever God gives you, He will never take away your common sense.

Suppose I unwisely overextended my body and knew that I had done so? How could I ask anyone to pray for me unless I repented? We must be careful. Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, and He has to dwell in them, and they have to be for His purpose in the world. We are not working for ourselves; God is to be glorified in our bodies. Many today are absolutely withered up, years before their time, because they went beyond their knowledge.

Nov 8th

Sat, 7 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

November 8, 2009

International day of prayer for the persecuted church

Day of the orphan

I fly to New Zealand!

I'll be gone for 11 days. I get to travel with one of the Jan '10 squad leaders - Kyla Cornelius. Our job is to get ministry setup for all 18 teams that are going to be there in January! It's a huge job, especially since I currently don't have anything lined up for our time there - needless to say I am overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done both in New Zealand as well as all of my normal work that is piling up. Please keep Kyla and I in your prayers over the next couple of weeks :-)

Awakening

Tue, 6 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Awakening - beginning, start, stirring, arousing, initiation

The very definition of Awakening' is exactly what took place during the World Race Awakening Conference that was held in Brasov, Romania. Every current World Racer, World Race Alumni, Staff, Coaches, and the men who had the vision and drive to start the World Race came together for the first time. Over 200 of us brought the Kingdom of Christ as we worshipped the Lord together for four days.

The first day of the Awakening I was reading from the book of Acts in the Bible. I love the book of Acts and have read it quite a few times, but this time was different. My focus wasn't on the sings and wonders, the miracles. I wasn't searching for anything. I was just enjoying reading Scripture. Then something that I've read numerous times stood out as if I was reading it for the first time...

"So, God who knows the heart, acknowledged them by giving them the Holy Spirit..."

- Acts 15:8

Wow. God the Father gives us the Holy Spirit because He wants to acknowledge us! The gifts of the Spirit are not reserved only for those who are evangelists and see people come to know the Lord, or for those who have the gift of healing and get to see people healed in order to celebrate Christ their King. God wants to give us the gifts of the Holy Spirit because He wants to remind not only us but those around us that we belong to Him. That we are sons and daughters, a royal priesthood, forgiven and set free, healed and delivered.

I shared this revelation with everyone the first night. There were some people crammed in that tiny room who needed to allow God to give them the acknowledgment that they deserved by allowing the Holy Spirit to move in their lives. When we deny the Holy Spirit to move, when we deny the gifts of the Spirit we are not allowing God to acknowledge us. And there isn't anything else that God wants to do except acknowledge us as His own...

God LOVES Me!

Fri, 4 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

A small group of friends got together for a time of checking in with each other and praying for one another. I again shared that although I have a peace and know that I am to be here, I still am not satisfied with everything that I have been doing. Laura had a very simple, specific word from the Lord for me " I needed to draw near to Him.

And that is what I did. Each morning I spent more than just my devotional time with the Lord and would just sit with Him or share with Him. A group of us even decided to drive over an hour to Bethel church in Atlanta, knowing that we would be able to truly worship and be in Gods presence. Nothing major really happened during any of these times. It was just about being with Him. He kept saying over and over that He loved me. I just didnt realize that He wanted to show me that He loves me

# 1 One of the things that a few of us here have really enjoyed is being able to go to the Fox theatre in Atlanta. Sadly we just havent had the time or money to go to any shows this year. Well we heard of a deal where we could go see Chicago for under $20!

# 2 My roommates and I have decided that we are going to move to a different apartment complex. All of our community has moved over there, and well we dont really like the place we are in at the moment. The place we wanted to move into only had one spot available for the style and date that we wanted. We went in to sign a one year lease for a big two bedroom apartment, but for some reason the security check was timing out and wasnt going through. The next day I got a call that they had all gone through and the reason that it didnt go through was because the rent had gone down by $20 a month the next day! And did I mention that its an amazing apartment! Its on the ground floor, but above ground with a great view of the woods!

# 3 One of the guys who used to work at AIM was given a ton of brand new luggage from someone who owns a store. He gave most of it away before even making it to the office with any of it. But there was one carry on piece of luggage left and it was red. It was exactly what I wanted! And I got it for free :)

# 4 Jimmy asked to talk to me for a minute and walked into one of the offices. He said that God had spoken to all of the World Race leadership team individually over the last couple of weeks. God was showing them that all of the gifting and passions that I have and miss using are all what The Awakening is about. The Awakening is a few day event where World Race alumni and everyone who is on the field will meet together for worship, prayer, and prophesying over each other and the nations. If I wanted to go, the leadership team would cover the cost of me getting there and while I was in Romania!

# 5 To make # 4 even better some of my coworkers / closest friends are going to be spending a few days in Greece before Romania and then a night in Paris on the way back (because I am an amazing travel agent and got their tickets for a steal). I had originally been invited to go with them, but wasnt sure if I would be able to now since I was certain that the tickets would be to expensive or that we wouldnt be able to find someone to cover the office while we were all away. Well I was able to find a way to get tickets that would only end up costing me $400 of my personal money, and the head of WR is going to make sure that someone is covering the office! I get to go back to Greece and see stuff that I missed on my first trip, experience Kingdom in Romania, and go to Paris too!

and dont you dare think this is the end of the list! I know that God Loves Me, but I also believe that He wants to show me in expected and unexpected ways. Besides I have a few things that are on my wish list God started speaking to me about purchasing a fancy digital camera (since I find so much joy and life in taking photos), which means that I also need to upgrade to a better laptop and external hard-drive, and I really do need to buy a new hiking backpack with all of the travel that I am going to be doing (did I mention that I am also going to New Zealand and possibly Australia in December and January?). So I am really hoping that those end up being # 6, 7, & 8 :)

Timing

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This blog is going to be all about my little sister, Courtney. I lovingly call her my little sister, because she is not only the youngest but also the shortest ;-)

Courtney and I don't have the type of relationship where we sit up at night on our beds, giggle, tell each other everything that happens in our lives, and dream about the future. But we have a bond that nothing could ever break. We may not agree with each other's decisions or beliefs all of the time, yet we love and respect each other no matter what.

I can't say that I blame her for some of the decisions that she made over the years. Honestly I probably would have done the same. She grew up a lot faster than she probably needed to. Being an adult has been hard. Courtney has gone through the struggles of being unemployed for long periods of time, having horrible jobs, and struggling through relationships.

A week before the last training camp she called me and told me that she not only didn't have a job, but she wanted to break up with her boyfriend of over five years and needed to find a new place to live since she didn't have money for rent. She didn't know what to do. After talking with my coworkers and praying about it I gave her a call. I offered to fly her out here to training camp if she would help mom in the kitchen and sit in on some of the teaching sessions. Never in a million years did I think she would take me up on the offer.

But she did! Courtney spent two weeks in Georgia, working hard, listening to speakers, enjoying the worship, and having fun! She made new friends and loved being here!

We talked a little bit about the stuff that she experienced while here and just life. It was interesting to know that it was all just a timing thing. If I would have asked her to come out here any earlier she would have declined. There was a spark, life, and joy in her while she was here that I feel like she has been missing and wondering where it went. Between being in such a positive / loving environment and being away from circumstances in CA she was able to have the courage to make some major decisions in her life. She's doing things for her, to give her a better future. I couldn't have been more proud of her while she was here or the changes she is making in her life. I totally love my little sister!

Why am I here?

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As you know from my last blogs, one of the things that I have really been asking the Lord about is what I am supposed to be doing. I've known that I am supposed to stay at AIM and work with The World Race, but I didn't know how or why.

This last week we had training camp for the October 2009 World Racers. Just like every other camp, this one was different ;-) It was a bit smaller than our last, with only 47 Racers. We were blessed in having all of the World Race staff, lots of World Race alumni, and many others who came to serve or to teach. This group went a lot deeper a lot faster than any other group we've had. They very quickly learned and understood that God speaks, and that the Holy Spirit is very active today.

Early on in camp during a time of worship the Lord clearly spoke to me why I am here, and why I am with the Race - it's about replicating myself. Here I am taking the best qualities and giftings that I have and giving them to another 40+ people! As the week went on during each evening of worship God would have me praying over some of the staff. Do I minister to the participants, absolutely. But I am finding that more of my time and effort is being poured into the staff so that they can then pour into the participants.

Seattle...

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Late on Wednesday I flew from Atlanta back to Seattle. It's been over a year since I've been back, and I forgot how beautiful it is here. We've been able to eat outside in the yard every night. Eat at one of my favorite Mexican hole in the wall restaurants in the whole world. Pick cherries from the tree in the back yard. Play Mexican Train Dominos. And laugh at the effects of a jetlagged Casey.

In my last blog I talked about how I still know that I am in the right place, but was wondering if I am doing what God wants me to be doing. Right now we are understaffed, so I know that there isn't really a chance of my job description changing anytime soon. But having this time of reflection and just seeking the Lord has been wonderful (my coworkers and boss have given me freedom to take more time off during the week, and while in Seattle I am not working at all).

God gently reminded me that I have been called to widows and orphans'. This doesn't mean that I have to stop what I am doing and have a bad attitude about sitting behind a desk five days a week. I don't think I'll be moving overseas again any time soon. However I am praying that I can raise enough support to allow me to go back out and visit teams when they are on the field.

I'm looking forward to the rest of my time here in Seattle... the chance to catch up with family and friends, sharing with my church (NorthLake Christian Church in Bothell @ 10am on July 19^th), the mission board and prayer team, as well as having time to just relax and spend with the Lord. Please pray that I will have time to spend with everyone that I need to, I will hear God continue to speak, and that I will continue to raise the support that I need for my paycheck as well as to go out on the field.

liar. liar.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I came to realize a long time ago that when people ask how are you?' the majority of the time they don't really want to know the truth.

Just try it sometime - telling someone how you are really doing... it's quite sad when you watch their face drop and they quickly change the subject to something else.

I got so used to lying to others about how I was doing, I didn't even realize when I was lying to myself.

During one of my sleepless nights a week or so ago, I was praying and asking myself some tough questions. It was then that I realized that the root of some of my questions could be found in the fact that I'm not happy. Yes, I have an amazing community and a great job. But there is something missing. And as much as I love my job, I don't want to be sitting behind a desk buying plane tickets for other people for the next three years.

Sure I am spending extra time with God and extra time alone to figure out how to get me out of this funk, realizing that part of it is a choice and the other part is the reality that there are some things that may have to change over time.

the biggest thing I need to do is stop lying! Sure some people will want to know the truth in how I am doing, and others just want to hear the ok'. But the truth is that I can't even answer those who want to know if I don't even know myself.

random training camp pics

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

A different kind of dancing

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The other day at church, in between songs our worship leader asked us to close our eyes and picture ourselves with Jesus. It was really easy to slip into the familiar pictures of what this should look like to be a small child sitting in the arms of God on his big throne or having Him look down at me as we hold hands walking... but something was different this time.

I can't say for sure where we were. It felt as if we were in many different places all at once... looking across the horizon as the red sun setting over an Africa plane, feeling the humidity of the jungles of Latin America, and even standing in the heavens. But it didn't really matter where we were. The biggest difference this time was that I was not a child. I was dancing with Jesus, and I was exactly how old I am today. I was just as tall, the same length of hair, I looked exactly as I do today.

Last week a group of us were sitting around the table talking and I came to the realization that so many of us continue to see God as our Father, which = us as children. But the reality is that you do not have to be 5 years old in order to be a child. I am 27 years old, live on the other side of the States from my parents, pay my own bills, make my own decisions, and yet I am still their child. It is the same with God. He will always be my Father, but He no longer sees me as a baby'. It is time for me to no longer picture myself that way either. I am no longer the little blonde haired, blue eyed baby girl who is spun around while she holds tightly to Christ's hands. I can now stand on my own two feet and gently be lead in a beautiful dance across the nations and into the heavenly places.

struggling with my role...

Thu, 2 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here at AIM things have been changing pretty consistently since I came on staff with the World Race last year. Changes are never easy, but they are often necessary.

This last week we have been having training camp for the June '09 World Racers. Training camp is often the highlight of the office staff. We get a chance to connect and pour into the Racers. Our spiritual gifts have an opportunity to be used, and we get out from behind the desk.

Normally I spend my days with the Racers, praying for them, counseling, and helping with the team stuff. This is the stuff that I love. I'm not an overly extroverted person, but when it comes to ministering to others my extrovert comes out! Training camp often reminds me of my years with YWAM and how much I loved pouring into the students.

However this time around things have been different for me... I've been doing a lot of the logistical things for training camp, and getting things done in the office. This means that I haven't really gotten a chance to get to know the Racers. During times of ministry to the Racers the Lord has been really silent, so I haven't even been praying for them either.

At first I thought I could handle this. I love watching the other staff and alumni step out in faith in their giftings! But it's also hard to just watch from the side lines after having done it all myself for so long. There is part of me that wonders if this is a pride thing, if the Lord is trying to teach me and take me deeper into certain things. So I am at a point of deep contemplation, reflection, and brokenness. Asking the Lord what it is that He is trying do and how I can continue to find joy in all that I do (even when my heart would rather be doing something else).

pray for revelation...

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am sitting during some down time of our first full day of training camp. We've got 34 World Racers here who will be heading to 11 different nations starting in June. The next week will be filled with awesome truths about the Lord, bonding together as a team, and the reality of what things will look like on the World Race (yes, we made them eat chocolate rice pudding and dried anchovies with heads and eyes still intact for breakfast). We have started things off with crazy weather and a few people who had planes delayed or cancelled.

There are so many things that I could sit here and think or worry about. One of the main tasks I've been given task for this week just doesn't seem like it will come together as wonderfully as I would like... My perfectionist inside is dying! But I guess that is a good thing ;-)

I am realizing that if there is anything that I can ask you to pray for it is for revelation.This is what we all need. That the Lord would give each of us a deeper revelation of who He is, what He has done, who we are and what He is calling us to. As much as we are putting this camp on for the Racers, God is wanting and will do things in our lives (staff and serve crew). I don't want to be so distracted from all of the things that need to get done' that I miss the revelations that God is wanting to show me. So please join me in praying for fresh revelations for everyone here at training camp this week.

I go step by step

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The last few weeks have been pretty crazy around here. One of our staff just moved back, as God changed things up for her and her husband. She was able to quickly and easily transition back into things, yet it's still a learning process. Then we had some problems with one of the squads - they were trying to travel from the Dominical Republic through the States to Thailand to get to Cambodia. It was a crazy journey, and then we had a girl get sick and stuck in Miami (with two teammates looking after her). I took on the task of keeping everyone in the loop and getting the girls safely to Cambodia to be with the rest of their squad (which happened quite smoothly & she is feeling much better!).

Even with all the random stressful things going on, I think this last week has been the hardest. We have noticed a trend... the closer we get to having a training camp (March 27April 5), the more Satan will do anything to slow us down. I have felt a heaviness this last week that has affected every part of me. The smallest things have me praying that my filter is on tightly (also known as biting your tongue, or keeping your mouth shut so that you don't say things that you shouldn't be saying). My world has seemed to be spinning at times. Plus it's one thing for me to be spiritually attacked, it's another when it starts to affect my family and friends ... and it has this week.

There are even more changes that are about to happen at work and even in just my life here in Gainesville. Some of them I know are going to happen and I am just waiting for God's timing (however my patience is running thin). Then there are others that I have no clue what they will look like and to be honest I am a little nervous.

This morning I lay in bed and was just asking the Lord what is this emptiness inside of me, the heaviness that is upon me is? Sadly there was no answer. I've spent lots of time this week soaking in worship. There is a deep craving for worship, to just sit in the holy of holies. I don't need to sing, to pray, or to even say a word, I just want to be.

I might be confused, tired, and just ready for things to happen. God hasn't stopped speaking (even if He isn't answering my questions right now). But the faith and trust that I have in God keeps me putting one foot in front of the other for now...

Cruise Control...

Sun, 1 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Last weekend I went with a friend down to Jacksonville, Florida. I had been down over Thanksgiving, so I had gotten to know a few people and we went down for a baby shower. It was a really short visit, but totally worth the drive!

Since it is such a long way, I decided to go ahead and use the cruise control. I mean it's supposed to help the gas mileage, plus the bonus of not having to worry about how fast I am going is great!

As I continued the drive, the thought went through my mind... How often is my life on cruise control?'

Sure it has it's benefits being able to enjoy the scenery a bit more, not worrying about speeding and getting a ticket, etc.

But do the benefits out way everything else?

I noticed that I couldn't take as many risks' when using cruise control. I couldn't overtake cars as easily (as their speed was constantly changing). Because my foot wasn't on the gas pedal, it just naturally wasn't as close to the brake pedal either. I felt like I didn't have as quick of a response time when the drivers around me forgot how to drive, since I just wasn't as mentally prepared or focused.

It seems so easy, to just put on the cruise control and not have to worry about everything else. To just coast through life. How often is my life on cruise control? When I just live life, not really realizing what is going on around me. I've noticed when it comes to certain areas of my life I have stopped taking as many risks, I like to stay where it is safe and comfortable. When I forget about the journey itself and just focus on the end result.

It's time to take off the cruise control and begin to take some risks, be alert and ready for anything. I'm not really sure how much that will change things in my life, but I know that it's time. I know that God has something big and crazy in store for me. Even though I have no idea what that means or looks like, I know that I am ready to risk it all again... are you?

Stay - because it's not about me

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Everyone at the office has started to notice... while the other World Race staff have travelled to several different countries since I've moved here, I'm still in the office. Don't get me wrong, I was offered the opportunity to go overseas several times. Yet each time I didn't have a peace about going and when I prayed, the Lord said No'. Rather than totally question the Lord, I just stayed.

Now as I look back I understand why the Lord had me stay in the office... because others needed to go. Jimmy and Ashley needed to go to Southern Mexico so that Jimmy could help Ashley see what a World Race Launch (the first week on the field for a new World Race squad) looked like. Ashley needed to go to the Philippines so that she knew she was capable of it and to put the love and passion back in her. Jimmy and Ashley needed to go to the Dominican Republic because Ashley was going to be leading the group, and so that Jimmy could encourage Ashley and see how we can make a few changes to be able to better equip the Racers from the beginning.

You see it wasn't about me. I know that I am capable of travelling and leading others, I think it's in my blood or something. With Ashley on the field and Jimmy, well being Jimmy, will I make it back to the field again soon? And if I'm asked, will God say I can go this time? I don't know. But if the Lord asks me to stay again I will. Not just as an act of obedience, but because I know that His plans are better and that He sees further down the line than I do ;-)

what do you want to know?...

Fri, 9 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I am laying on the couch in my basement with a horrible headache that has been plaguing me all day. As I read some of the World Racer's blogs I lay here and wonder what it is that people that read my blogs would want to hear...

The fact that I was on the phone and internet until 1 am on Sunday morning trying to sort things out for a Racer who was going to miss her flight with her team to the Dominican Republic.

Or that on Thursday I talked to people in four different countries and emailed with a few more.

That part of the week was spent getting all the receipts in order and accounted for, for the World Race credit card to hand in the Recon to the finance department.

Or that I've spent time on the phone with Racer's parents this week - letting them know that I received the debit card they sent for their son, when we will have someone visiting the Racers next, or helping them understand that their son or daughter is visiting a doctor but that everything will be ok (Josh Markland has a nasty infected spider bite, and Elizabeth Adcock was diagnosed with Typhoid yesterday and today was told it's not Typhoid but a bacterial infection).

Wednesday and Thursday were spent doing phone interviews of people who have applied for the World Race.

Or that in my spare time' I've been trying to read blogs and adding a few encouraging comments.

My phone stays on and by me at all times, skype is now forwarded to my cell, I have three email accounts that I check... Let's just say that I am a bit tired.

I had some friends from New Zealand passing through over the weekend... they just couldn't quite understand it. Your boss does know that you are working over the weekend and in the middle of the night'... You don't have to do this, you are just being nice' ... but the reality is that, yes my bosses do know what crazy hours I can often work, because they put in more hours than I do! And sure I don't necessarily have to do everything that I do, but if I was in their position I would love it if someone did some of those things (change plane tickets, arrange a hotel, call their family and let them know what is going on, etc).

Why do I do it... because I love it! I might be tired, but I wouldn't have changed anything from this last week. I would do it all over again... and I probably will. I do it because we were able to send out 52 World Racers on the start of their trip, the Racers lives are being changed - they are participating in seeing God change other people's lives - and people are reading their stories on blogs and having their lives changed! It's amazing to think that at this week on the field there were: 137 World Racers, 4 squad leaders (Ashley, Jenny, Allison, Stephanie, & Jake flew home), 2 coaches, Jimmy, Michael & Kathy Hindes and I was the only fulltime World Race staff in the office! (Praise God for Jess who hung out with me in the office a lot this week, I think she helped keep me sane!)

P.S. I hope that is what you are wanting to hear / read... if you've got any other ideas of a blog you'd like to read or something you'd like to know leave a comment as I'd love some ideas J

quick update...

Mon, 5 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I've been trying to blog for awhile now. I just can't seem to organize my thoughts into black and white; the words just don't seem to make sense.

I did have a good Christmas ;) Although I wasn't able to make it home for the holiday, I was able to spend it with a close friend and her family. I had a wonderful time as I was adopted and treated like part of the family for Christmas. It was great!

To be honest at the moment I feel like I have a bunch of plates in the air, and although they are not going to come crashing down, I am. Maybe it's just because I am tired and have just a little too much going on at the moment. But I could sure use some added prayers at the moment!

Until things become a little clearer...

Casey

Running from me...

Thu, 4 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

A friend of mine was helping me process, or at least try and figure out the things that I need to process ;) She helped me realize that there are some things that I need to process and need continued healing from things in my past. She helped me see that I have not allowed myself to deal with some of these things because of my disdain for drama. I haven't wanted to draw things out for long lengths of time, yet I am realizing more and more that is often some of these little things that take the longest to fully process and gain emotional healing from.

I am just a slow processor, it takes me awhile after things have happened to really even understand what occurred (what can I say, I'm blonde). So here I am a bit later after our conversation coming to some major realizations... this is deep stuff, and to be honest a little scary... you see if you dig deep the reality is that I don't trust God & I am scared of my future. Ouch. You can call my feelings and emotions from different things in my past all kinds of things (bitterness, frustration, confusion, etc.), but what it has created is distrust and fear. If you would have asked me if I struggled with those things I would have told you No!'. But I think that is because I didn't even see it for what it is. I obviously don't want these things in my life anymore. I can now see how they have slowly been trying to take over my life.

I'm not sure how the processing or healing will work or how long it will take, but I think I am ready. I am ready to face the pain, lies, frustration, unanswered questions, doubt, anger, and even the truth. From my experience I know that it will not be easy or any fun, yet I am willing to go there. The part that I am scared of is that I know that it also means that God has even bigger things in store for me, and I can't even imagine what that could be (have you seen all that God has done in and through me!! What more could there possibly be!?!).

So this is me, being the real me... and asking you to help keep me accountable to stop running from me & to stop hiding from God.

the lies of singleness...

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Let's face it, I am almost 27 and still single. If just being single wasn't hard enough it seems like the older you get, the worse it gets...

This is the time where we start to make jokes - Never Been Kissed', '30 year old virgin'. The media makes us believe that you are single because you aren't pretty enough, smart enough, making enough money, successful enough, etc. And well, anyone that knows me has probably figured out that although I do care about what I look like, it is not the #1 priority in my life. So you're gonna have to take me as I am. $, popularity, and success just don't seem to fit next to the job title missionary'.

So if we know that the media is wrong when it comes to these things, why am I still single?

Well an obvious reason is because of some of the major areas in my life that have needed an overhaul by the Lord over the years. And praise Jesus He was faithful to do it & is continuing to!

But I would have to say the other reason is the lies others have spoken over me. From being teased by peers, having basically every male authority reject or hurt me until the last few years. Having people in authority, that I love or look up to say things like: do you even like boys?', do you want to get married?', you're not pursuable'. no matter how many years ago they were spoken the enemy enjoys reminding me of these words and many others. And even though they shouldn't, they still hurt. The people in my life who should have been speaking life, purpose, and destiny were often speaking death without even realizing it. The reality is that even though I know it is a lie, there is part of me that believes I am not pursuable' - that I am not worthy of a relationship. Yes I know it's a U.G.B. (unGodly belief). But I don't know how to change it... it's going to have to be something that the Lord does in me. Or maybe it will just have to wait until there is a Godly Holy Spirit Filled Man who has the courage to ask this Crazy Strong Holy Spirit Filled Woman of God out on her first date.

...I didn't write this blog in order to get a bunch of comments posted about how I am believing a lie and am pursuable (I know that already). I posted more so that people know where I am at. And hopefully to remind all of us how important our words really can be. That I believe this lie because of what people either said to me or around me. Even if our comments aren't aimed at the person, speaking down/negatively/death about anyone can alter the life of someone else forever.

Processing takes time

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

There are probably about a million things that I need to process (got to love those AIM terms), yet half of them I don't even know what they are. And another part I am to scared of what the outcome of the process might be, so I just continue to ignore it.

I finally decided that I am going to stop just ignoring some of these things and actually take the time to process, create some goals, etc. and what happens... I get sick. What else would happen? It seems that each time I have made the decision to take some time for myself since moving to Georgia something stops me from being able to fully have the time that I desperately need. Why? I don't know. Am I purposefully sabotaging myself? I hope not. Does it mean that it's not time to process all that is stuck in my head and in my heart? Maybe? Is it God? Is it the enemy? I don't know.

So what do I do? What do I pray? I guess I pray that I will find the time to process all that I need to, at a time where I will be able to get all out of it that I need to.

Oct 17 - 26

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

We just finished training camp for the January 2009 world race squad. It was an intense 10 days. This group was probably one of the most open groups I have been around. They held nothing back during the first four days as they focused on their personal relationship with the Lord. During their cross walk I got to pray with many of them at the half way point, it was amazing to see different people come down off the hill than went up. Even though it was cold as fall decided to arrive in full force during the week, we had a great time camping and being outdoors.

Probably one of the biggest jobs of being on fulltime staff is creating the teams... this is a huge job since they will be in these teams for 11 months. Again it was totally a God thing! Everyone might not have fully understood why they were on the teams that they were, but each team is healthy - having people who will pour into them and challenge them. there is so much joy in seeing them begin to bond as a squad and a team. There are 54 racers who were put on 8 teams, our biggest group yet!

One of the other great things was that my mom was able to come during training camp! She came to be a part of the BreakThru' conference that AIM was holding during the weekend, and then to serve the world race staff in anyway she could. It was awesome to have her come and see what I do, meet my amazing community, and receive some of the best teaching. Because she was here during one of my busiest times of the year we didn't get to spend as much time together as we would have liked, but it was good none the less.

Staying Put.

Thu, 9 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The other night a friend invited all the girls from AIM to come over to just hang out. God has put it on her heart to make a safe place for us to go and just be girls. It was great to all be together and not have any specific agenda. We had a time of prayer and the Lord spoke to me...

You are not to go to the Dominican Republic, but stay here.'

A couple of months ago when I decided that I was not going to go to Kenya in December I was offered the chance to go to the Dominican Republic for our January launch. There was no reason for me to turn it down, but again I wasn't overly excited about it either. But I thought that was just because I had no idea what I would be responsible to do. So when the Lord spoke this to me I was surprised when there was a part of me that was disappointed. I will have spent all of 2008 in the United States. One of the reasons I took this position at AIM was because I would still be able to go out on the field and meet the teams, and here I am having turned down the two opportunities that they have given me.

I still don't know why I feel like the Lord is asking me to stay in the States. I am sure I could come up with a million reasons. But the reality is that I must obey even if I am a bit disappointed. My prayer isn't that I'll get to go out next time, but rather that I would understand what the Lord is trying to say and do. I also pray that as I continue in the office that I will not be overwhelmed but have the peace and direction that I so desperately need.

Stealing my sleep...

Sun, 5 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

For some reason ever since coming down to Georgia I have had trouble sleeping. It doesn't happen every night, and there is no pattern to it. I have never had trouble sleeping before and so for awhile I just thought it was a bit odd. And no it's not anything that I have eaten, or the mattress I sleep on. Last night I think I laid in bed for over an hour trying to get to sleep only to wake up at 3, read for a few hours and attempt to go back to sleep after 6 to wake up a couple of hours later because I just couldn't sleep any more. I have resulted to over the counter sleeping pills just to be able to sleep through the night (which I rarely take, only when I know I am on the verge of getting sick because of lack of sleep and just need one solid night of sleep). I am one of those people who needs a good 8 - 9 hours of sleep a night, and well I haven't had that in a very long time. It might sound silly to some, but I really feel like the enemy is stealing my sleep... he knows that if I am attacked in any other way I can either just shrug it off or go to anyone in the amazing community around me to help. But when he steals my sleep he steals my productivity, my attitude, and my concentration. The thing is that I know that I am not the only one who is having this problem. There are several others at AIM who are suffering with trying to get the amount of rest and sleep that they need. So as I take my over the counter drugs tonight, I also ask that you say a prayer for me and for all of us who are serving the Lord... that the enemy would no longer be able to steal away our sleep in any of the many ways that he has been trying and that the Lord would refresh us as we sleep tonight.