I came to realize a long time ago that when people ask ‘how are you?' the majority of the time they don't really want to know the truth.

Just try it sometime - telling someone how you are really doing... it's quite sad when you watch their face drop and they quickly change the subject to something else.

I got so used to lying to others about how I was doing, I didn't even realize when I was lying to myself.

During one of my sleepless nights a week or so ago, I was praying and asking myself some tough questions. It was then that I realized that the root of some of my questions could be found in the fact that I'm not happy. Yes, I have an amazing community and a great job. But there is something missing. And as much as I love my job, I don't want to be sitting behind a desk buying plane tickets for other people for the next three years.

Sure I am spending extra time with God and extra time alone to figure out how to get me out of this funk, realizing that part of it is a choice and the other part is the reality that there are some things that may have to change over time.

the biggest thing I need to do is stop lying! Sure some people will want to know the truth in how I am doing, and others just want to hear the ‘ok'. But the truth is that I can't even answer those who want to know if I don't even know myself.