Here at AIM things have been changing pretty consistently since I came on staff with the World Race last year. Changes are never easy, but they are often necessary.

          This last week we have been having training camp for the June '09 World Racers. Training camp is often the highlight of the office staff. We get a chance to connect and pour into the Racers. Our spiritual gifts have an opportunity to be used, and we get out from behind the desk.

          Normally I spend my days with the Racers, praying for them, counseling, and helping with the team stuff. This is the stuff that I love. I'm not an overly extroverted person, but when it comes to ministering to others my extrovert comes out! Training camp often reminds me of my years with YWAM and how much I loved pouring into the students.

However this time around things have been different for me... I've been doing a lot of the logistical things for training camp, and getting things done in the office. This means that I haven't really gotten a chance to get to know the Racers. During times of ministry to the Racers the Lord has been really silent, so I haven't even been praying for them either.

At first I thought I could handle this. I love watching the other staff and alumni step out in faith in their giftings! But it's also hard to just watch from the side lines after having done it all myself for so long. There is part of me that wonders if this is a pride thing, if the Lord is trying to teach me and take me deeper into certain things. So I am at a point of deep contemplation, reflection, and brokenness. Asking the Lord what it is that He is trying do and how I can continue to find joy in all that I do (even when my heart would rather be doing something else).